This blog is an experiment. I have an image, a feeling, an ideal of the woman I want to be. And I keep waiting for her to show up. I can feel her, in there or out there, this spectacular being I am meant to be. I would have thought I’d have found her by now. I turned 40 last year- I have a fantastic husband, two hilarious and adorable kids. I was a lawyer until last year, when I “retired” to explore the raising humans career field. All the obstacles that seemed to be in the way of this person don’t exist anymore. And still, I’m not her. Why? I’m tired of saying “maybe someday”.
The real answer is I’m not going to wake up in this awesome lady’s life one day. Because becoming that person takes work, and time, and dedication. Because the only way I am going to be anywhere near her is if I try, put myself out there, put in the work. So here it is, my shot at it.
I am not striving to be some perfect, glamourous woman. When I think of her, I feel contentment. Connection. A solid sense of what she loves and what she doesn’t. An ability to say no. A separation from the busy-ness of our lives. A quiet commitment to those things that matter and fill me up. I want to be on time. I want writing to fill my days. I want to trust myself and my words and my intuitions. I want to be outside. I want to have a garden. I want to yell less. I want to not overspend. I want to find my way to that true connection, where your life looks like you.
I’m not sure what this project will entail. I don’t have a master plan. I don’t make any promises. I am not going to write a book and tell you how to live your life better. This is just a place to experiment, to try waking up early and eating better, to try different things out and see how they work.
Each month or so I am going to try to focus on one thing and read a lot and try a lot, and then report back. I might also just blog about my daily life, about my kids, books, hopes and dreams, or anything really. This is an anything goes blog. For that reason, I am staying anonymous. Part of the experiment is to get out of my own way, and I tend to really censor when writing under my real name.
So welcome! Any thoughts, suggestions, criticisms are allowed here.