Interruptions and Instinct

February is here. I haven’t quite started my February project- writing- yet. We’ve had a flurry of social events that we needed to attend, and my son had strep throat last week- all things that interrupted my normal flow. I had a few moments of lethargy and self-doubt but I am pushing through. A week behind my “schedule”- does it really matter? What matters is that I start, what matters is that I keep going.

This life interrupting art thing is wonderfully described in this post by Dani Shapiro. I agree- life and art and thoughts and stories are all intricately linked. Life gives us stories, our lives are our stories. To try and separate them is foolish and also, impossible. I was reminded of this just a minute ago- I was attempting to clean out my closet. I was interrupted every two minutes by my daughter. She wanted to put on my boots, then my gloves and a pink cashmere sweater. Then she closed the doors and turned off the lights and pulled me behind the clothes so we could hide from ghosts. At first, I was admittedly annoyed. I can’t get anything done, I even said. And she looked at me, and put her hands on either side of my face, and said “Yes you can Mommy! You can hide from the ghosts. You can play with me. Don’t worry, I keep you safe!”. And I gave in. I watched her play, I played with her. We don’t get these moments back. Even though my closet is now a bigger mess. Always time to do that later.

So more on my writing immersion for the month later. Right now I just wanted to say that I did something that scared me last night. Besides my month-long projects, there are small things along the way, things that I am trying to incorporate. Saying yes on instinct is one of them. If I want to try something, or if I have an instinct to do something nice, I have to do it. There are so many times I have a fleeting thought to do something but I let it pass. What if I didn’t? What if I sent that email, invited the new mom out to lunch, signed up for a class?

Last night I signed up for a retreat centered around writing and yoga and finding your voice. I am scared to death if I actually get a spot. These women I admire. I don’t belong with them, I don’t know anyone, I would have to share a room with a stranger. But when I read about it, something sung inside of me. I want do do THAT. I want to be THERE. I want to be THAT. Without thinking I sent the email. If I had thought, or waited five minutes, I never would have. Chances are, I won’t get a spot. But that’s not the point. It’s the putting yourself out there.

So happy February!

xo A.

Also really loved this article on minimalism- be more with less.


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