Thursday, 9:42 am. Right now this is working for me. It’s finally cold here (33 degrees) but the sun is shining and I am actually alone in my house. I did not realize until recently that I am never ever alone in my house, especially in the mornings when I tend to get more stuff done. I get one morning a week totally alone in my house and it is glorious.
So today this seems ok. Coffee with coconut milk and cinnamon is good. Breakfast- hard boiled eggs and turkey sausage. We have enough leftovers for lunch- usually the hardest time for me. Dinner will be a pot roast/stew.
But yesterday was hard. It’s not really what I can eat- because I can eat a lot of really good things, and the things I am eating are delicious and satisfying. But this week I am only aware of what I can’t eat. It makes me angry. And I forgot how exhausting it is to read every single label and have to put back 9 of 10 things because EVERYTHING has added sugar or some other unpronounceable crap that is not good for you. I’m pissed that it’s this hard to find good food. I’m scared that what is so readily available and easy is so bad for you. I’m annoyed that now that I know this, I can’t ignore it and can’t just eat Kraft Mac & Cheese. I don’t want to know that it’s bad for me, I want to eat my junk food in ignorant bliss. Oh and it’s expensive. I’ve been to the grocery store three times already this week and it’s Thursday. That is one thing I’m going to have to explore, because it’s not budget-friendly to shop at Whole Foods three times a week.
The first week just sucks. I’m exhausted still, so not feeling any of the energy kick that comes later. I’m depressed. I’m grumpy. I don’t know what to do with myself after the kids go to bed. Before, we would have a glass of wine. Now I’m kinda bored. No dessert, no wine, just us. It’s been really cold so we’ve been having fires every night, which helps. And I’m reading more, which is always a good thing.
First week is supposed to be the hardest. So just keep on keeping on, I guess.